Final Count Down!

Hey yall!!!

Well it the final count down!! My pre-op diet started on April 29th. So far I lost 6 lbs. It’s been going pretty good. Not as hard as I thought it would be. Exactly 10 days to surgery day, May 13th! Can’t lie yall a bit nervous and my anxiety is brewing, but so is my excitement.

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We were unable to get our passports in time. So Sean and I will be crossing the boarder with our birth certificate and ID’S. Should be interesting!

I am supposed to start a liquid diet 3 days , third day being surgery day, so I start it on the 11th. Butttt….I am going to be traveling that day. Their is no way I am taking a laxative (which happens than starts the liquid diet) on my travel day!! Can you imagine trying to fly after taking a laxative, being 300 plus pounds? Wtf…. HOW the fuck would that work?!! I would probably have to wear a depends, running or fast walking down a airplane aisle because my ass is about to explode in a very confined area!

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The scene from the movie “STANDBY ME”…. where they have a puke-o-rama at the pie eating contest, in the story that Gordie Lachance tells to his friends. I just couldn’t!! So I plan on taking it the day before I fly and doing 4 days on liquids! Ugh that sounds rough 😫. But I got to get it done!

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I will let you all know how everything goes! I am so excited to go on this journey. I have to start some protein shakes. I have had some before and they were just nasty. Does anyone have any good recommendations on protein shakes? 🤔

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Well this is where I will leave this post. Please leave your protein shake recommendations in the comments! I will let you know which one I get.

Catch yall later!

Almost Time, Start your pre-op!

Hey yall!

So May 13th is the surgery day!! I so excited and anxious all at the same time. Getting everything in order, buying things for pre-op diet. The pre op diet is to help shrink the liver of its fatty. Gets it out of the way during the surgery.

The pre-op diet really consists of clean and green eating, 3 protein shakes daily and all the salads (with fat free dressing), NON-starchy vegetables (e.g. carrots, celery, zucchini, broccoli, cauliflower, radishes, onions), and approved soups (e.g. tomato basil, sacred heart, egg roll) that I want. I have to count meat or lean protein that I add to the soup – 6 oz daily for women and 8 oz daily for men. I can have unlimited sugar-free popsicles, sugar-free JELL-O, Powerade Zero, teas, broths, and zero calorie flavored waters.

Clear Liquids star 3 days before surgery. During the clear liquids diet, I can have no sugar added juices that are diluted, sugar-free popsicles, sugar-free JELL-O, teas, broths, zero calorie flavored waters, etc. Surgery day counts as the third day of the clear liquids diet.

With the protein shakes I should have two or three protein shakes per day. Each drink can contain at least 15 to 20 grams of protein per serving. The amount of sugar should be less than half the amount of grams of protein. For example, if the drink has 20 grams of protein, it should have less than 10 grams of sugar or carbs.

I could make my own protein shakes with unsweetened or lite vanilla almond milk, lite soy milk, or lite rice milk. Can not use regular milk, as it has too much sugar. I can use professionally prepared protein shakes if they meet the same requirements for grams of protein, calories, sugars, etc.

I can have two servings of 3 to 4 oz of a lean protein per day (e.g. chicken, turkey, fish, salmon, shrimp, scallops, 2 eggs, tofu(yuck), 1/2 cup of beans. I should also have one or two servings of a healthy fat per day (e.g. salad dressing, olive oil, olives). Using salad dressings sparingly. I can dilute them with water or skim milk if needed.

I can have as much salad as I want, but I need to use salad dressings sparingly.

Absolutely NO bread, rice, pasta, potatoes, sweet potatoes, yams, cereals, oatmeal, popcorn, refined grains, corn, peas, or sauces with sugar.

Three days before surgery, so the 10th I will start my clear liquids only diet. After all the food is done that day I will take a laxative. Then it’s clear liquids on out. This should be interesting for sure. I am so excited and so incredibly anxious just to get it done and over. So I can be on to taking my life back from food.

Thanks for reading!

Be back soon

VIVA LA MEXICO!

Well Yall!! I am back and guess what?!! I am going to Mexico!! I am so excited!! I have been researching a weight loss surgeon in Mexico named Dr. Elias Ortiz. He has a company called EOC (Elias Ortiz Company). It is awesome. The facility is beautiful and the price is perfect for me to afford. Sean and I will be traveling to San Diego on the 11th of May. We will stay at a hotel then be picked up by the EOC shuttle vans. The driver will take us into Mexico. We will go to the Hospital and get my bloodwork, a CT and EKG then off to the Grand Hotel. we will stay there that night and then its surgery day!! On the 13th I will have surgery. I am having the RNY surgery. Dr Ortiz does do sleeve procedures but I want the RNY. I know a few people that have had the sleeve procedure and it has worked great for them , I also know some that didn’t lose at all.

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Whats difference between a sleeve and the RNY Gastric Bypass? The sleeve procedure makes the stomach into a long sleeve shaped tube, the majority of the stomach is removed. food passes through the new stomach tube directly into the intestines. nutrients are absorbed from the food as normal. It also makes the patient feel fuller sooner and longer. It does not alter the way food moves through the GI tract.

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The RNY Gastric Bypass shortens the digestive tract and restricts food intake. The stomach is made into a small pouch from the upper portion of the stomach. Then the intestine is surgically connected to the pouch. This is where food can move through. The remaining stomach portion and intestine is bypassed. This procedure limits food intake, reduces calories, and nutrients absorbed from food. Most keep the weight off for long term. It is the only procedure that gives immediate feedback if you eat things you shouldnt like concentrated sweets. Sweets are my biggest problem.

So, what is the major draw when it comes to medical tourism? Why are so many people flocking to places like Tijuana to get the treatment they need and deserve? One of the main reasons why people – especially those from the U.S. – travel abroad for care is the cost. Due to the cost of living being less in Tijuana, it allows them to provide quality medical services at a significantly lower cost than we might find in the states. The cost is about 50% less than it would be in the United States. The mexican government has prioritized the development of medical care in the country. As a result, Mexico now boasts of state of the art hospitals and surgery centers, which are led by highly qualified medical professionals. 

Tijuana

I will be posting here thru my whole journey. I am thinking about doing a video blog on YouTube of my trip. What do you thinking? I am so very excited. I am already watching what I eat. I am trying to bring my BMI down before surgery. My BMI is currently 50.68. I would like it to be under 50. I will be starting my pre op diet on April 29th Seans birthday , that should be fun! The pre op diet is to help shrink the liver if it’s fatty. Which I am sure it is as I am a fatty….lol. I will explain the pre op diet specifics in a later blog.

Thanks for reading! Be back tomorrow!

ZAP! ENERGY GONE!

Zap! Energy gone!

Hey Yall!

So Sorry it has been so long since i have wrote anything. Life got a bit crazy there for a few. Global pandemic, crazy shopping, kids at home from school. The stress level has been astronomical for a few. So if you’re like me food has been a comfort zone way too much during all this.  So lets get into this….

Since gaining all my weight back it has Zapped all my energy. No matter what I do I am just exhausted. I could sleep for days, and it would still feel like I haven’t slept a wink. Its hard to stay accountable with zero energy ( or so my brain thinks). I want to write every day but some days I am either exhausted or I cant think of anything good to write about. My weight loss is not going good. Its hard to keep myself on track.  The extra weight makes my body hurt. More than I have ever felt. You’d think this alone would be a motivator. but it isn’t, it makes you want to lay down or move very little. Even though you know that is not helpful.  

I feel like since starting on the meds for my Afib my weight gain has been relentless.  I dont know if the meds make me more hungry or just causing my body to hold on to fat it should be letting go. I have been so sore every where. It feels like every joint in my body is just screaming at me.  When you feel like this it is also emotionally draining. When I’ve seen people that are bigger than me I didn’t understand how they “let” that happen. I have found out you dont just “LET” it happen. Between the pain and the depression it is so overwhelming. I have a mental fight with myself every day. Can I do this? Can i do that? nope cant it hurts. Then comes the shame and beating myself up because of the condition I am in.

Then there is the Food addiction. The only thing you can do at that moment that doesn’t hurt, and actually produces a good feeling amongst the bullshit your feeling.  A completely unhealth relationship with food. Mine is sweets specifically. Food addiction doesn’t necessarily mean you just love food. It could mean you have other factors some could be psychological, biological or social reasons which cause you to use food as a coping mechanism. There are many groups to help with food addiction, you can also seek professional help. 

Thank you for listening to me vent! I will write more soon!

Accountability is essential

Hey Yall!

So today I want to talk about accountability. Acountability by definition is a noun that means the fact or condition of being accountable/ responsible. When this comes to weight loss I feel like I am accountable for what I have done to myself. I take my responsibility in the fact I did this to myself. I understand that I am the only one that can fix it and it will be incredibly difficult. Even with bariatric surgery it will be difficult. I have followed people on their bariatric journeys and they have difficulty too. Surgery is not a easy out as some people think. Besides the crazy amounts of risk you take with the surgery alone is a lot of risk in itself!

Accountability in weight loss is ESSENTIAL! Having a way to hold yourself accountable is essential. Whether its a friend, a stranger etc.  I have found that I pour myself into taking care of everybody else and not myself.  I usually will use that as a excuse for my bad eating habits, for my laziness.  I feel like this blog will be a key to me holding myself accountable. I will have to be truthful with myself and my followers to make this work.

I am hoping by making this blog and posting everyday, I will hold myself accountable. I am hoping as time goes by and building new good eating habits it will get easier. It all seems so overwhelming at first. I think this blog will provide my focus and motivation which I believe are key to weight loss.  I know old habits can creep in and I hope I can prepare for that knowing and expecting it and having a plan to overcome to get back to my plan.

If yall have any good tips to share please do in the comments. Maybe we can motivate and help keep each other focused!!

And I am Back

Hey Yall! 

Sorry I have been gone for a while. My laptop broke and I couldn’t afford to fix it. I just got a new one and remembered I have this awesome blog, with all of my awesome 13 followers. So a lot has happened since the last time I logged on. I got my anxiety under control (somewhat with meds). I have my Afib in check so far (with meds of course). I have zero control over my food addiction. I have gained so much weight I am so ashamed and that makes me eat more. Weird how that works right I get upset I am fat but then I eat more. I wish my brain had a reset button. 

I don’t remember if I wrote about having surgery to remove a permanent birth control I had place in 2011. It is called Essure ( watch the bleeding edge on Netflix if you want to know what it is). Essure is made of nickel which I didn’t know at the time. Had I known this I would not have got them due to I am allergic to nickel. So because of this my body was in constant crisis mode as it could not get rid of the inflammation the Essure was causing. So I got it out. It was an easy surgery as far as the physical aspect. Not easy on the finances! Medical care is so expensive its ridiculous, it set us back and we have been playing catch up since. Well my husband had surgery for carpal tunnel the next month. I am telling you our finances took a hit with us both having to be out of work for a while.

Well to make a long story short we had other things start happening, like one punch after another.  Cars breaking down, sickness, then Covid-19, then we had 2 puppies pass away from parvo (absolutely heartbreaking). The stress just increased my emotional eating of course. It seems like we are on the shore of a beach and its beautiful, but we had a wave that knocked us down, and every time we try to get up another huge wave knocks back down. Some times I feel like I am drowning.  It’s hard to look to the bright side with water in your eyes.  

Since not being able to continue my physician followed weight loss plan with the phentermine that helped control my appetite and gave me lots of energy, I have been unable to find anything as helpful. Except Baratric surgery but getting the funds is difficult with everything we have had happening.  I have insurance but it is still crazy expensive. My weight is at an all-time high. I have never weighed this much and I am so ashamed of my self for letting it happen.  Sad world we live in where you can have insurance but can’t pay what is needed to still go to the doctors because your premiums leave you broke. 

Surgery here in the states is ridiculous so I have been looking at getting it done in Mexico! OH MY GOD!! YES MEXICO!! its cheaper and better quality service. I know yall are going to be like this chic is crazy!! But I am really not. I have been researching it for a while now. I have 3 friends that have went down and had it done and had an amazing experience. Their weight loss results are just as amazing.  The fact they can stop taking meds that toxic to the body, diseases go away. I want to be healthy more than anything. Having afib and the anxiety are horrible. I don’t want to get diabetes ( I am pre-diabetic), I have had many family members who have gone blind or died.  I can’t keep living this way. I know it is not a 100% cure and you can gain weight back. I am more looking at it as a tool to help basically reset my brain. Being able to eat small portions and get full. 

I really now need to find a way to get and save the funds for me to get it done.  Saving money is not a strong attribute for me. The surgery itself is $6000, then there are passports, flights to and from, spending cash while there, and some to cover while I am off work. if anyone has any ideas I am happy to hear them. No I can’t get a loan right now because my credit is not good. We just bought a vehicle because the other broke, so that loan is on there.  I will have to figure it out either way!! I will get this done!!

Now that you’re all caught up I will write more later!

Afib, tell me its just a lie……..

Hello Y’all!! As most of you know last week I was hospitalized with Afib. Since that scary experience I have been researching what it is, how it will affect my life and what I need to do to keep it at a distance. When the doctor said “you’re in Afib” I thought you’re lying!! This has got to be a joke. Anytime I had any health concerns I always got told I am fine. Any and all testing always came back that i was healthy. My blood pressures were always text book 120/80 never over that, pulse always between 67-77 when resting. Where did this come from? straight outta left field and straight into my freaking chest….UGH!

Its actually called Paroxysmal atrial fibrillation which me and i can have a irregular sproatic heartbeat that can stop on its own within 24 hours, or it can last up to a week. My range of emotion after hearing it was afib were crazy. The doctors could not pinpoint what the cause was, I have no other heart conditions. This made me confused,in denial and very scared. I am now taking medications to help slow and stabilize my heart rate. I am also looking at changing up my diet to help have a healthy lifestyle. and also starting on a daily vitamin. I am trying to find out if I can get back on keto or if I will have to tweek it to be able to have it benefit my health.

I have read that somethings can trigger Afib….like a big meal!! what!! This kinda makes sense to me every time I eat a large meal i immediately get heart palpitations. Weird right! I think i should start a log of what things trigger the palpitations, then I will know exactly what to stay away from. Well the best i can anyway.  I have read with good management people can live a pretty good life. Well that would depend on what you call good? I am a sugar addict, seriously! I love salty food all of things you have to cut out to manage this life. 

From what i have read there are just 4 things that will help with managing this and living a good life.  Here they are:

1. GOOD SLEEP
2. GOOD MOVEMENT
3.  GOOD NUTRITION
4. GOOD ATTITUDE      

If I do these four things my heart rhythm and blood vessels will be better. Lets touch on good sleep for a minute, can someone tell me how you do this? I try my hardest to go to bed early. I dont get home from work until almost 7:30pm. I try to spend some time with my kids, eat dinner with them ( which is a no no, because its too late to be eating). My younger ones go to bed then try to spend time talking with my older ones or catch up on laundry or watch a little boob tube. Next thing i know it damn near 1am What the FUCK!! I actually have got in bed the last two nights before 10. last night I went to bed at 9:30… but i laid there awake even though I was extremely tired. I am still so fatigued in the mornings it makes it hard to get up. I get up at 530-6 am on work days.  I know I have some sort of sleep apnea also and i guess I will need to look into treating that too. Maybe then I can get a good decent sleep.

Stress reduction is also a good thing to do. I probably need to look into some yoga or meditation. Both of which I have no clue how to do.  I feel like Afib is my body yelling at me for a fucked up lifestyle as far as overindulgence in sweets and crap food. But i am not the only one with this, 300 million Americans suffer with Afib. I have to help myself by taking care of myself. I have to decrease my stress levels.  As a food addict it seems like the treatment of Afib is worse then the disease( not really that’s just my belly talking). 

So this is my journey now. I need to make myself better, I want more time with my kids and my wonderful husband. So I will do whatever it takes to make myself and my heart stronger. Thank you for reading about my journey and supporting and encouraging me on it. Everyone’s support and encouragement is so very important to me. Thank you again!

Stop just existing and start living!!

This is one of my favorite actors as a kid. I would have never guessed he had any mental illness issues. But thats the thing about mental illness it goes un-noticed, un-diagnosed, not treated, all the time. All because it has a ridiculous stigma surrounding it. It will ruin lives, ruin marriages when people should be okay with saying YES i have a mental illness and I need help. Then they should be able top get that help, it should be affordable no matter what your financial status is. This is a very well written and raw look at how Mental Illness can effect a life, and how treatment can renew a life. Stop existing and start living!! Thank you Wil Wheaton for sharing your mental illness journey with us.

“At that moment, I realized that I had lived my life in a room that was so loud, all I could do every day was deal with how loud it was. But with the help of my wife, my doctor, and medical science, I found a doorway out of that room.”

via My name is Wil Wheaton. I live with chronic depression, and I am not ashamed. — Discover

Life: You want it easy, Too fucking bad!

Hello Y’all! I know I was going to write more but man life is just throwing punches left and right. I don’t know how much more my psyche can take. Sean and I have been really stressed we have two yes two kids graduating. Both of our beautiful daughters Faith and Charleigh. So we have been planning a trip to Florida for Charleighs graduation on the 18th of May. Then be back by the 19th before 2 pm to make it to our daughter faiths last choir concert before she graduates on June 8th. Needless to say it has been pretty stressful. I have bad anxiety attacks that include heart palpitations, dizziness, and other crazy physical crap that come with them. 

It doesn’t help I have been working so much. I do about 72 hours a week and I have been doing it what seems like forever. When I have a anxiety attack it scares the hell out of me which in turn makes it worse. I usually have to breath and remind myself that I am ok. I don’t have medical insurance ( its too fucking expensive) so i am not medicated for these attacks. My diet or WOE has been out the door. I have had so much sugar and carbs i wouldn’t be surprised if I turned into a donut.  My sleep has been bad. going to bed at 2 am and getting back up at 530 am ugh it sucks. March 22nd We lost my wonderful Uncle Arnie. This was my moms sisters husband, she (my aunt) is blind do to complications of diabetes. So my mom went to stay with her for a month not returning until May 3rd.

My sister Erin and brother in law Mike have been dealing with insane amounts of stress too. Mikes dad Big mike passed away on May 1st. He had been sick for some time with cancer and had been going down hill for the last few months. It was inevitable and we knew it was coming but it still doesn’t prepare you for when it actually happens. Now why would this stress me out. Big Mike and his wife Ann are amazing people. When I decide to move here to Texas, They took us in to their family like we were their own. The only family I had down here was my mother who lived with me, my sister and her husband Mike, and my brother Dave but he and his family live in Dallas. Big Mike and Ann became a grandpa and grandma to my kids. They invited us to all the family parties.

Always tried to include my kids in everything. They were essentially were my kids grandparents too. I cant explain how much love myself, Sean and the kids have for them. So the loss of Big Mike hit us all very hard.  He will be missed very much.  Well I think the stress that was mounting this whole time finally hit my body Wednesday (May 2nd) night after a long day. I worked that day then came home and moved some furniture around and got my moms room picked up ( she has been in Michigan with my aunt since March 22nd) And she (my mom) was coming home tomorrow. Well I got things just how i wanted them. I sat down in the living room and folded two loads of laundry. Well it was 11 pm so I was going to go try to get to bed. I laid down and fell asleep, around 12:15 ish I woke up because I was having a anxiety attack in my sleep. 

I thought I was having a heart palpitation, but something about this one was different. It felt weird.  I tried to breath through it, I tried to relax. I don’t know how I thought I could relax any more than being laid down and not doing anything. Sean wakes up and asks me if I am alright? I really don’t know what to say when he asks. I know that when I have anxiety attacks its hard for me to answer questions. This doesn’t feel the same as it usually does. My heart feels like it is going to beat out of my chest and it feels like it is not regular. When I have had anxiety attacks and went to Er dept they send me home saying theirs nothing wrong with you, so I have gotten used to not going and just trying to deal with it myself at home. But i didn’t see anything I was doing helping what was going on. 

So I decided to take my pulse via my phone on my Samsung health app. I took it and my pulse was 135 laying down. I was like that cant be right. So i take it again now it is 140… holy crap what is going on!! So Sean got up and went into the bathroom when he came back out I was still having a problem. He asks “do you want to go to the hospital?” I yelled I don’t know ( which was very rude of me, but my mind was going crazy). I went out to talk to my friend Debbi who is a nurse too and is living with us. She feels my chest and says it feels like your in Afib.  No i wasn’t in a lie…lol A fib…haha….but a serious heart issue. So I went back in and told Sean lets go. We go to the ER, they get me in very fast and do a EKG and sure enough I was in Afib. Oh MY GOD…. talk about scary!!

My heart rate was 150 and my blood pressure was pretty high for me. They started me on fluids and did a blood draw, and started some meds to help get that pulse under control. It helped bring my pulse down. They did some testing but it all came out fine. They have no clue what caused it to happen. When your heart is in Afib the top chambers shake or quiver ( you can feel this its crazy!!) well when this happens it send a signal to the bottom chambers to pump faster to compensate for the top not doing its job. The problem with this is it over works the heart. The other problem is the quivering causes blood to pool in the top chambers and you risk the blood clotting in there. And if you throw a clot it can cause a stroke and possibly death. OMG!!! I was so scared, Sean was terrified. After they got the medicine to bring my pulse under control, and they were not finding a issue with testing, they talked to the cardiologist and decide they were going to send me home. By this time it was 3 am, I was exhausted. When they told me “we are going to send you home, and you need to follow up with a cardiologist” I started crying. I don’t have insurance, I know its not cheap to see a cardiologist. I was scared to go home. The doctor was i think taken aback because I started to cry.

I really though i will probably die if I go home. Even though he is telling me I should be ok. What i felt was not ok!! And on top of that they cant tell me why it was happening. So the ER doctor says if you don’t feel sake going home then you need to stay here. We will admit you and keep a eye on you. That made me feel better. The nurses and the doctor and all the nurses on the floor were awesome. All of them were friendly, and made me feel sake with them. I felt i was in the best place possible. When we decide I would stay Sean went home to try to get some sleep and take the kids to school in the morning and on top of that let them know where and what was happening with me. He did a great job keeping them calm and reassuring them that i was in the best possible place.

After Sean left I tried to close my eyes and get some much needed rest….yeah right! But i was calm and had my eyes closed. My nurse came in because my pulse kept making the machine alarm. It was steady going back up. when he came in it was back up to 142. They gave me more meds, and he said I am glad you decided to stay because you would have had to come back if this would have happened at home. My nurse In the ER was Daniel, He was a absolute blessing he made me feel safe and helped me stay calm. While Sean was home dealing with the kids. I finally got up to a room at around 5:15 am. I had been up for almost 24 hours. (I got up at 5:30 am) As o fthat time my heart was still in Afib. They told we if they could not get my heart to convert back to regular rhythm by itself they were going to have to do a procedure that they would put me to sleep and shock me to get it to convert.

They had me scheduled for a Electrocardiogram in the morning. Well I finally fell asleep around 7 am. but was soon woke up because they needed more blood and vitals. My nurse Stephanie came in and she was so sweet. She got to tell me that my heart converted at 7:07 AM. I was so excited no shock treatment!!  They kept me until about 6 pm. They said they did find a UTI which I had no clue about because I did not have any symptoms of at all. They gave me antibiotics and gave me a med that was controlling my heart rate. The cardiologist finally came in to see me at around 3 pm. He wants me to lose my weight. And I have to see him on the 10th to find out what we need to do to figure this out. I may have to possibly wear a heart monitor for a month. He essentials told me to stay away from sugar ( go figure….my crack). Told me to do a more plant based diet. I told him that i did the Ketogenic diet for a while but had fell off recently. He basically said get back on it and really try to make it more plant based.

So I finally got to go home. Its so nice to be able to go home. I am still scared I may have it happen again before I can get to the Doctor. My kids were scared of course. Its amazing what you think about when you go thru something that could be life threatening. Well I will write more when I find out more. Cant wait to go on vacation to Florida really soon. I could use some beach therapy!! Relax, take in the sun and tell life to fuck off I am busy. So I will try my best to stay healthy, yall try too!

Talk to you next time!

Man Period, Truth or Myth?

Hey Y’All!! I know I haven’t wrote in a while, I have been working everyday. I think my brain is barely functioning. I really couldn’t think of anything to write, wait no that’s not really it. I had so many things I could write about that I could not wrap my over worked brain around any specific thing and focus enough to put it down on screen (haha like what i did there, screen instead of down on paper). Recently as in just a few minutes ago I had a interaction with a human of the male persuasion. Unfortunately it was not a pleasant encounter.  I have been expecting Aunt Flo for about a week now, and my patience to deal with such encounters is so very limited. As my irritation grows I think is this dude expecting Uncle Flo? Because man I thought for sure he is PMS’ing.

I have always said to my mom I truly think men go through a period to just like women. He may not bleed but holy cow do their emotions and irritability get crazy! So I decided to Google “man period” and low and be hold I found many interesting things! It is true!!! They actually (in theory LOL) do have a man period or as some call it Irritable Man Syndrome (IMS). MINDBLOWN!! I was so happy I am not crazy and I was sensing the emotional roller coaster our male counterparts experience. Which of course lead to lots of questions in my brain. How exactly does this affect them? How long and How often does it occur? Should i just let him be in a room and throw beef jerky and Reese’s peanut butter cups at him? Do they get the same physical yucky crap that us women do? Should i offer him a midol? Seriously How come we did not learn about this when we had sex ed in school. This information right here could probably have saved a bunch of couples from having to go through break ups!! 

Our male counterparts experience their own unique hormone storm. That hormone is called testosterone, which can fluctuate 4 to 5 time in a day but are not enough to really notice. They also drop monthly and seasonally. April is probably the worst time for guys since that’s when testosterone is at its lowest (Well this explains a lot today). November is the best time as testosterone is at its highest, so if he acts extremely manly around that time you know why. ( Explains all those beards!!) As men’s testosterone level drops, so does their moods.  You can tend to see men develop similar emotional symptoms as their female counterparts before and during their time of the month. Supposedly men with IMS are usually being irrationally angry and irritated, suffer from a increase in anxiety and tend to have low self esteem. ( sound familiar ladies?). The biochemical fluctuations that cause the mood changes in these men , and the nature of these moods simply depend on hormones and environmental factors.

Men with a spouse or girlfriend, especially if she lives with him, are more likely to experience “man periods”. Shockingly this had been studied for a while. One article i read said scientist as far back as the 17th century have studied the “man period” idea and  they found some very interesting results.  When they monitored a mans weight and excretions (much like our cervical mucus), they showed a definite increase at certain times of the month. They also noted that there was the presence of (pre-period) acne  break out on the face, sex drive was way lower along with a general feeling of decreased energy and fatigue. They also did these studies on animals, particularly deer and elephants with the same hormone fluctuations and feelings or laziness and irritability being documented. They define IMS as a state of hypersensitivity, frustration, anxiety, and anger that occurs in males and is associated with biochemical changes, hormonal fluctuations, stress, and loss of male identity. Testosterone levels in men are actually related to stress, so stop stressing! If it was only that easy (right ladies!). But the more stress in a man’s life, the more his testosterone levels will drop.

There is actually a book by author and psychotherapist Jed Diamond called The Irritable Man Syndrome and Surviving Male Menopause.  According to Jed, even lesser symptoms can turn into deeper issues, where the IMS-afflicted implicates their significant other. They feel an almost irrational need to break away and be free, and they often see their partners as the ones that are holding them back. Usually men are in denial (what? a man in denial? no way!) they think the problem is anyone but in them. They think its their wives, their boss, their kids, people in the white house, people on the highway, anyone but themselves. When I first started this post, it was in a funny manner. Now that I have read many articles about this issue, I see that it could be a serious issue for men. It can caused severe marital and relationship issues.  Jed also says that alcohol, smoking, medications, drugs of any kind, can affect IMS. They can affect hormone levels, they can affect stress levels, and they can also contribute to IMS or make it way worse. They know that people that drink too much can become more irritable, angry, and in some instances can become  more violent.  Whoa this crap is serious!

Why isn’t this topic more main stream? I know it is difficult for men to talk openly about their feelings, but this is serious even for their own mental sanity. I can’t imagine how hard it would be to convince a man that has this that he needs to be checked out. So maybe women should show it to their man so it can be a little easier to deal with if the time comes. So ladies how do we cope with your man when Uncle Noflo is in town? Here’s some great ideas to start you off…..

1. When he whines, You have to listen. Sometimes people just want to be heard. People sometimes feel better when they do a little ranting , raving or whining. I know I do lol! They like the feeling knowing someone is willing to listen even when it is something dumb. Sometimes a little commiserating can go a long way.
2. When his anger gets irrationally crazy, validate his feelings and try to bring him down to earth. When he is trying to do something and it doesn’t turn out the way he expected, its the end of the world. I get that its upsetting but getting crazy about it doesn’t fix it. Try your best to make sure he knows it okay to be upset but remind him some things in life our out of our control, and he shouldn’t waste his energy being upset about it.
3. When he gets those weird food cravings, you become a master chef (or delivery driver). I prefer chocolate and tacos when I am pms’ing. My man is all about cereal and ice cream (or Popsicles). It doesn’t matter the time of day either. If you start to notice its coming, get prepared. If you sense a mood coming on and bust out his fave ice cream, I am sure the surprise will be well received.  If you don’t sense it just hit up your local ice cream shop drive thru.
4. When he gets legitimately angry, validate and sympathize. You should be an advocate for validating whatever your man feels even if you don’t always agree. You don’t want him to go crazy but do want him to know you hear him and understand. Try to offer advice and when he feels like he is being understood he may be open to taking it.
5. When he needs extra attention, try to give it. There can be some upsides to a mans period they sometimes get excited over little, sometimes silly things. If he talks to you about a subject you’re not really interested in but it matters to him take time to truly listen.
6. When nothing you say is right, don’t engage.  Then there’s times when no matter what you try, it wont work no matter how hard you try.  recognize those moments and don’t run yourself ragged trying to please him. Sometimes he will be just a dick and you’ll have to just give him his space.
7. When he cries over something other than sports, Hug him. A simple but effective thing. Some guys will get emotional, whether its over family, work, life in general. Admit it ladies we understand, he has to deal with you when your a mess of emotion on your period. Sometimes its your turn to be protector and comforter. 
8. When he don’t feel good, take care of him. Go all out set him up with a little fortress of drinks, snacks, movies he loves, lots of blankets, pillows, anything he might need.  Sometimes he may not feel like not getting up at all. So bring him what he needs, run errands for him. It goes both ways If he is good to you when you feel like crap, you should be happy to do it for him. If he doesn’t do it for you, maybe he will after you do it for him
9. If he fights with his friends, side with him but also remind him those are his pals. Its easy to take things out on friends when in a bad mood. Even if you don’t necessarily agree with his thoughts on whatever the fight is about, it is not the best time to point out that he may be overreacting. Also never say anything negative about his guys, these fights are usually short lived. So remind him that it will blow over and its not something to end a friendship over.

So just remember we do it too, so cut your man some slack.  But know next time he tells you you’re only upset because you’re on your period, know you can send that right back at him!! LOL!! And now we know and knowing is half the battle (thank you GI Joe LOL)

Well I will catch y’all later!! And I will try to write more!!